Whatchu Want?

Let’s Get One Thing Straight: You Came to Us

Don’t be shy now—you’ve already stalked our socials, maybe envied our style, and now you’re here. We love that for you.

Whether you’re full of compliments (obviously), have a burning question, or just want to bask in our fabulous energy, we’re here for it.

📩 Slide Into Our Inbox

Email: dont.be.envious.of.me@gmail.com
We check our inbox like we check our reflection—frequently, and with high standards.

💬 Got a Quickie?

DM us on Instagram @envious.af
We might reply with a gif. We will reply with attitude.

🕒 Office Hours

Mon–Fri: 10am–4pm (Because we deserve sleep and brunch too.)
Weekends: We’re out living the life you’re jealous of.

🖤 Customer Love, Not Customer Service

This isn’t some boring call center with elevator music. It’s real people, with real opinions, ready to help (and maybe roast you—lovingly, of course).